Because individuals of color can *absolutely* internalize ideas that are problematic ourselves
My present boyfriend is Filipino, but he could be one of several hardly any Asian guys I’ve dated.
Growing up, I lived in a predominantly white city, that was one explanation that i did son’t date many Asian men—there just weren’t numerous around in the first place. However it had been additionally partially about me personally. Inside my teenagers and very early 20s, I happened to be vehemently against dating Asian guys. Whenever friends attempted to pair me personally up utilizing the one Chinese guy in elementary college, as when we had been supposed to be because I happened to be truly the only Chinese woman, we quickly became annoyed. Plus in highschool, we extremely demonstrably keep in mind a number of dudes attempting to introduce us to their Asian friend while we ended up being looking forward to the coach after college 1 day. We scoffed and strolled away, irritated during the expectation that is unspoken i will to personal race.
Now, i could note that I became enclosed by numerous, numerous problematic communications concerning the desirability of Asian males (or absence thereof), which often led us to think that they certainly were socially embarrassing, passive, unattractive—and consequently maybe not dateable. Continue reading For Decades, We Was Vehemently Against Dating Asian Guys—Even Though I Am Chinese